Hello, My Name is Jeff.

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Five Feared Dead in Aftermath of Bake Sale

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Cheboygan, MI— Charity turned to tragedy today, when a  bake sale for victims of radiation poisoning turned into the epicenter of what some experts are calling, “the worst destruction and chaos in Cheboygan’s history.”  It was a bake sale that began with Dr. Bruce Banner, organizer of the event and currently unemployed researcher, announcing his intentions “to bring happiness to all the world’s children”, and ended with half the city in ruins.  Experts have not been able to come to an exact description of what transpired, but eye-witness reports generally converge around the description of a terrible, green giant, overturning cars, scattering people like ants, and at one point, tossing a bus through a twelve-story building.

Police report that despite horrendous amounts of damage, most people escaped with only minor cuts and bruises.  Currently, five people are reported missing, including three attorneys and Dr. Banner, as well as a small, black pug named, Steve.  The police further estimate that at least $800 million dollars worth of damage has been done to the downtown area alone.

An individual who was present, commenting on condition of anonymity, stated that directly prior to the wide-spread destruction which occurred, several attorneys for Marvel Comics Ltd., a well-known comic publisher, arrived at the bake sale, accused Dr. Banner of copyright infringement, and delivered a cease and desist order, because the cookies were shaped and colored green like a well-known comic book character registered to the company.  When Banner refused, the anonymous eye-witness states that the attorneys began throwing some of the cookies at the doctor.  Shouting occurred, followed by a small scuffle, which was broken up by the appearance of the destructive terror that some witnesses have called, “a hulk.”

Marvel Comics refused to comment on the incident, but one upper-management representative cautioned, “if people would respect copyright laws, stuff like this just wouldn’t happen.”
It is unclear as to whether he was referring to today’s destruction, or to the altercation between Banner and the attorneys.


Written by Jeff

February 18, 2009 at 7:24 pm

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